Brace yourselves, people. Did you know that the human foot sweats an average of one shot glass a day? Per foot? Blech. There are pros and cons to losing 60 pounds and rejoining society. Pro: Shopping at Nordstrom. No, no...bonding with the shoe salesman at Nordstrom to the point that you consider him your shoe manny. Your "shmanny." You become exclusive. And shmanny calls you on vacation to tell you the exact status of your recent shoe order. Con: Dropping $120 on a pair of shoes when you return from vacay. And being educated by shmanny in the Nordstrom shoe department on the fact that the human foot does, in fact, sweat shot glasses o' sweat every day. Thank you, shmanny. The thrill is officially gone. I just threw up in my mouth a little. And PS...now all I can think about is foot sweat...mine, yours and everyone else's.

Speaking of useless trivia, let's talk pie hole. Did you know that the strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue? And that information didn't come in the form of a pick-up line, although I am totally using it at my upcoming speed dating event. If an awkward moment of silence happens, I'm totally dropping that bomb. Only not in a "How you doin?" tone...more like the kid in Jerry Maguire who delighted in telling people the human head weighs 8 pounds.

No, the tongue trivia came from my string cheese wrapper. Ahhh...string cheese. The low calorie "treat" that now lives in my fridge, alongside the free-range eggs, grapefruit, turkey bacon, eye mask and half-eaten can of Willoughby's dog food. I wish I could say a woman could live on string cheese alone. But I found out on my recent trip home just how fast I would dump string cheese for it's more satisfying alternative: Chick-fil-A.

Now, I've never been Chick-fil-A obsessed. I can take it or leave it. But when you've got a woman whose been subsisting on string cheese and lentil soup for the past few months and add it to the fact that it is a Lubbock, TX, icon...AND their location just happens to be closed for remodeling on the dates you are home, it spells a recipe for potential disaster. The day before I left to go back to L.A., I happened to drive by Chick-fil-A. And what did I see?!? A line of cars around the block and the Chick-fil-A mascot standing in his cow suit on the curb. Trying to process what I was seeing, I could only guess that the place was reopen for business. I don't know what took over my body, but I swerved across two lanes of traffic, with a screamin' mother in the passenger seat and, literally, almost mowed down the guy making minimum wage to sport cow spots and udders for a living. I would have been ashamed, I'm sure. Except I was too busy racing the half-ton Chevy to the next spot in the drive-thru. I won, by the way. And one diet lemonade, 8 piece nuggets, and 300 calories (exactly) later...I was on the road again. PS...I think the guy in the cow suit put out more than two shots that day.

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