Well...school starts tomorrow and I'm still officially f-a-t. Or at least not at my comfortable-in-my-own-skin goal weight.
BUT...the good news is...I burned the flowing traveler's pants. Gone is the fat uniform and in its place are 10...TEN...brand new (and very cute, I might add) outfits. Plus a vintage Kate Spade handbag.
Let's face it. When you're fat, there's NOTHING you hate more than clothes shopping. Am I right? The 3-way mirrors. The fluorescent lighting (which I'm convinced came from the same misogynist who invented panty hose). The clothes that never quite fit in the places you need them to. It's a steamin' hot plate of harsh reality.
I haven't been clothes shopping in I-can't-remember-how-long. So Kara flew down from New York to go with me. I went, kicking and screaming. Quite frankly, I would rather have had a root canal. But then, something magical happened. The stuff of fairy tales and Little Golden Books that chime when you turn the page. It was SO fun. Think Mary Poppins at Macy's. And Nordstrom's.
If you HATE shopping, I highly recommend going with your best, funniest, and most musically inclined friend. Don't go alone! Here's what you get when your best friend goes clothes shopping with you:
1. You don't have to know where you are actually going in any department store. Just keep your head down and focus on the backs of her feet, up the escalator, until you find yourself in the correct department.
2. If you pick up the wrong thing, she will make a face like she just ate a grapefruit until you realize your mistake and throw it down in disgust. Or she'll tell you the jeans you just picked up are the AARP cut. (That really happened, incidentally)
3. You NEVER have to look at yourself in the mirror because a true friend will stand in front of it and shield you from the bad stuff.
4. In cases of dressing room break-down, your BFF will break out in show tunes to distract you. First, Annie Get Your Gun. Then, My Fair Lady. And if that doesn't work, Billy Joel.
5. And forget hanging anything up...you can heave your emotional baggage and pile of throwbacks on her. She will patiently hang up the 127 things that didn't fit while guarding with her life the one perfect thing that did.
It's a genius plan...clothes shopping with your closest girl friends. It's like an episode of Sex and the City. Or the scene in Cinderella when the baby birds and bunnies flit down to dress the soon-to-be fairy princess. Kara definitely redeemed herself...after forcing me to risk life and limb at the water park while preventing me from getting even a semblance of a tan by hosing me down with the SPF 70. Now I have a whole new wardrobe...for the first time in 10 years. Thanks, Kara Mae!
PS...Nordstrom's is my new favorite department store, by the way. Do you know? If you need alterations, they come to your dressing room! Are you kidding me? Heaven! Seriously, you pop your head out of the dressing room door, the sales lady picks up the phone, and a woman holding safety pins with her teeth and a measuring tape in her hand suddenly appears.
I never thought I'd say it, but I actually had fun. I've resisted and rebelled against buying clothes for so many years. I always want to wait until I'm at my goal weight. But (and I can't believe I'm going to say this)...sometimes you have to dress for the part before you actually get it.
Monday, September 6, 2010 at 11:48PM
Reader Comments (2)
I had fun, too! And those jeans were the AARP wash, so there will be NO sneaking back and buying them on the sly!! The ones we got are flattering and modern, and we got them for a STEAL!
Totally know how you feel, but dressing rooms can be awful even if you are at your happy weight. I love me some Nordstrom, but I went to Nordstrom Rack the other day and the dressing room lights/mirrors were sooooo terrible--saved me a ton of $$ . At least I got some good bras. :)