It is MONSOON season in Pasadena this week. I have never seen it rain like this (in SO CAL, at least). I'm in (with singsong voice) HEAVEN! I always wondered how the locals can stand 364 days of sunny weather. Not me. I need me some severe weather to keep things interesting. Thunder and lightning! Well, I got that and then some this week. This marks day #4 of torrential rains. I've ordered Building an Ark...for Dummies. I just hope it gets here in time.
People are not afraid of lightning out here. In West Texas, you can't throw a rock without hitting someone whose been hit by lightning...sorry...lightnin.' I had a pedicurist who was missing several toes because she'd been hit. I never asked to see her feet. But I always wanted to ask how she kept her balance. And did she get pedicures herself? Inquiring minds wanna know. She also had a story about an ill-fated boat excursion on a girl's trip to Mexico that involved seasickness, too much sun and strawberry daiquiris, and a hungry school of fish. God, I miss that woman. You can't find pedicurists like that out here.
Speaking of beauty professionals I can't find, I had Hair Appointment #3 a few days ago. I have found my new color specialist, a woman named Shauna. Referred to me by the same Nancy who I almost threw down with in the Olive Garden over the "no sugar added" dessert. Here is what is fabulous about Shauna. A)She actually listens when words are coming out of my mouth, especially in reference to things I do and don't want done to my hair. B)She will gossip with me to just the right amount of satiation. Often, as I am processing, we sit side by side reading the latest edition of In Touch and talking about things like how much Kevin Federline has let himself go. And C)She makes my hair look like it grew out of my head this way. Remember those baby dolls...when you cranked their arm, their hair would grow longer? That is how Shauna makes me look. Crank, crank...and presto!
Here is what is not fabulous. The salon where Shauna moonlights is NOT fabulous. It is one step up from a Supercuts. Very similar to a Fantastic Sam's. I suppose I've become a salon snob. I fall on a spectrum somewhere below foo-foo and obnoxious, but where I'm still offered hot tea, can't get in without an appointment, and can ooh and aah over the exposed brick that is exposing itself somewhere inside. And did I mention, I need a gay man in the equation somewhere...a Carson Kressley type. Or Carson Kressley himself.
Soooooo...I'm keeping Shauna because she's made a science of introducing my hair to just the right mix of 510 and 9A. And I'm Internet dating for Carson Kressley with scissors.
PS...I've got to stop weighing everyday. I'm making myself crazy. I'll be updating the chick ticker (see bottom of page) weekly instead. Meanwhile I was craving sugar so badly today that I ate a tub of Cool Whip Lite for lunch. And skipped dinner. Don't try this at home.
Friday, January 22, 2010 at 12:18AM
Reader Comments (2)
GO TO WOLFGANG!!!!!!
Ok, I'll admit my little sugar embarrassing story. I once ate a whole jar of Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme, 7-Ounce Jar. To this day I can't look at smores without getting violently sick.