Are you kidding me?!? How is it that people...women...who have decided to make a career out of making other women feel beautiful, end up accomplishing just the opposite?!?
It happened yesterday, when I was getting the falsies put on. The acrylic nails (just overlays, actually...they're 100% Elizabeth underneath). My trusty nail tech, a woman I've been going to for over a year, offered me a Diet Coke. "No thanks," I said. "I'm off the sauce." When I proceeded to explain, for the second time, my weight loss in 6 hair appointments or less, was she curious? Humored? Overjoyed for me? No, no, and heck no. You know what she said? As she held my hand in hers? In her most sweetly condescending voice? She said "That means you're going to have to stop eating your little pizzas."
Oh no you di'int!!! Two problems. A) Are you talking about the 3 1/2 inch individual veggie pizza I enjoy once every other week when I come to this neighborhood to get the falsies touched up? And B) How incredibly rude. Where is your mother? Or were you raised by wolves, Romulus?
So, I ask you, beloved readers...has something like this ever happened to you? If you've ever been on the receiving end of some unsolicited and obnoxious advice, I want to hear about it. Every gritty detail. The whole story. Advice about weight loss, relationships, money...any conversation you knew someone was going to enjoy...but it wasn't gonna be you. I'm all ears.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 09:07PM
Reader Comments (10)
I love it when you get unsolicited advice on the best way to lose weight from people you don't know. You're at a restaurant and you order a salad, all the sudden your waiter/waitress becomes your BFF and tells you which dressing has zero calories, or to ask for it without cheese as that's sooo fattening. Like you're ordering the salad because you're on a diet. Then they tell you about their 'friend' (they always have a friend) who lost a lot of weight on the master cleanse, the zone, the blood type diet, you name it. Why is it that people feel the need to let me know that I have a few pounds to loose -- do they really think I don't already know that? Like me being a little overweight is some big time national secret - people, I get it - I need to order more salads and fewer double double protein style cheeseburger from In and Out.
Yes, I also get that I live in LA -- where being a zero is everything. One of my BFFs New Years Resolutions was to be a negative zero by July. She was already a 2 -- and had to drop 2 dress sizes to get into the 'negative' arena. I just have to ask, how can you be a negative zero????
Cooper, a double double from In and Out? Is this as delish as the chocolate lava cake? If so, I have a friend who wants to try both.
I have bad skin. Very bad skin. I am almost 30 years old and have the acne of a 17 year old junk-food addicted boy. Every dime of my disposable income goes to trying to fix my face and fix the body that is doing this to my face. Every moment of my disposable time goes into researching ways to spend my disposable income on my face. During the short periods of time that my acne manages to wind down, the permanent scars are even more devastating.
This condition has resulted in an endless parade of (mostly) women who must comment on my face as though I have never seen it before. "Honey! Your face is so bad!" "Have you gone to a dermatologist for your 'problem'?" "I just don't know how you can live with that." "Wow. Have you seen the commercials for ProActive?" Honestly, do these women really believe that a.) I have never looked in a mirror or FELT these lesions on my face or b.) that I LIKE IT and therefore choose not to act on it?? I love it when they give me suggestions that guarantee I will be acne free in a week if I just eat a little of this, stop eating a little of that, or only wash my face with milk. I'm very happy that your daughter who once in her life experienced a teeny tiny little white head managed to get rid of it with toothpaste. Really, I am. Now leave me alone in my misery.
Sara!!! Darling...I feel your pain!!! You have a forever friend in me. Thanks so much for sharing what I'm sure is a very painful story. Please please please let's be friends in Blogsville. I promise not to bring the ProActive if you promise not to tell me all I need to do is eat less and exercise more. :) PS...OMG! I thought the toothpaste thing was just a fluke...someone told me about that trick a couple of years ago. Pfffttttt!!!
I hate that! The worst of it is when you are pregnant. I can handle random strangers asking personal questions. I can handle people treating me like an invalid, I can even handle strangers grabbing my belly without permission, but but but... All the unsolicited advice! The tactless comments! The Intrusion!
I am a tall girl and had a big baby. But the last few months i kept getting stopped at malls, on the street, everywhere I went. People kept saying, twins or triplets? Only one, I would smile back. One lady, at the mall, responded. Honey, Lay off the food and control those cravings. You look like you should be on TLC! WTF!
That was 3 years ago. Now, as a single mom, I constantly get stupid comments like... You have pets? OMG with a 3 year old. You should just leave them at the pound. You have enough to worry about, hun!
(Oops. I think you touched on a raw nerve... I could give examples coming out of the wazoooo! So many of them.)
I think there is only one thing to do with such rudeness. Smile, nod and walk away!
DPLORRA...I've not had babies yet. Random strangers come up and touch your baby belly?!?
They do! On trains, buses, at work, on the street! Some ask for permission - most don't! And every one of them has some birthing horror story to share and some random piece of advice about labor, and feeding, and even names!
I'm very sensitive about my nose. Once this CRAZY woman called me "doll face" and I assured her that there was no way I had a doll face with my nose because my mother-in-law has been looking in vain for a doll that looks like me for years as she has promised to make me a "bride doll" out of my wedding dress. So this woman said to me "Your mother-in-law should have been looking for a Gonzo doll." GONZO FROM THE MUPPETS!!! Can you believe it? I am forever shamed, scarred for life, and thinking of moving to one of those countries where women wear half-veils.
Ahhh, the inappropriateness of other people never ceases to amaze me. I once had a blog that focused on that specific phenomenon. I kep it going for about 2 years! Never ran out of material!
My most apalling offenses were during my pregnancy 2 years ago. And they were always coming from other women...who had HAD babies themselves! Surely they remember what it's like to feel huge and uncomfortable. But apparently they had blocked it out somewhere along the line.
I have a fair amount of venom for other people's stupidity. When someone asked me how much weight I'd gained, I'd respond with asking them how much weight they'd gained, in turn.
If someone tried to touch my belly, I'd touch theirs back. I was figuring that we'd somewhere passed normal tolerance barrier, and that touching random parts of each other's body was OK, since clearly they felt the liberty to reach out and touch me...
I often try to match someone's stupidity when it emerges like that. Depending on how saucy I'm feeling, it all but guarantees that they will never ask that question to another person again.
The most inappropriate comment I've ever gotten was from a teacher (a glorified care provider really) at a Montessori who claimed she had CEUs to add to her advanced education degree. These were her words exactly: "Your son has ADHD and should be on Ritalin. I know just by observing someone's behavior if they have ADHD."
My boy and I were permanently out of that Montessori the next day.
Two months later, my son was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Dysfunction, a condition that LOOKS LIKE ADHD but requires occupational therapy, not drugs. This diagnosis came only after a long round of tests (note the plural) by an occupational therapist who is CERTIFIED to perform such tests, AND after my husband and I filled out a booklet of a questionnaire about my son's outer and inner senses. He underwent extensive and intense OT for a long time. That was five years ago. He's now a thriving, happy boy whose everyday existence drives me to tears for the miracle that he is.
My biggest lessons out of the whole thing? 1.) ALWAYS trust YOUR instincts where YOUR kids are concerned. 2.) The daycare providers who brag the most and the loudest about their "advanced" degrees turn out to be the MOST incompetent. 3.) When a "teacher" tells you that she can diagnose your child's potential problems through her God-given powers of observation and suggests drugs as a solution, take your child in your arms and RUN! Run for the hills, baby! Save yourself and your child.
Amen.