Friday
Mar252011

Scarfing down my 1/2 and 1/2 combination platter at Panera the other day, it suddenly dawned on me that not everyone knows about the Hug and Sniff. It happened when the friend I was meeting for lunch revealed her plans to attend a gala and dessert reception with...wait for it...Madeleine Albright, Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice. Insanely jealous and barely able to masticate my remaining 1/2, I made her promise she would at least attempt the Hug and Sniff and report back to me. She looked at me like I had two heads. And a prehensile tail.

The Hug and Sniff? Hellooo? Doesn't everyone know about it? It's equivalent to the invention of fire and sliced bread.

Before I get to the technique itself, let's just revisit the...(reverberating)...POWER POWER POWER. Of SMELL SMELL SMELL. How many of you can pop open a bottle of Pine-Sol and instantly recall at least one memory from your childhood?

What about the smell of your first boyfriend? Remember that, huh? I can't pass a bottle of Stetson without having the impulse to stand in the aisle and take a nice long whiff down memory lane. I almost passed out after 20 minutes of Stetson huffing in a Rite Aid once. 

PS...I'm convinced Man Scent is the number #1 reason men get away with as much as they do. Exhibit A: The man scented t-shirt. The one you find lying around your apartment after the Last Straw and Epic Break Up. You see it lying there. Helpless and alone. "Don't pick it up. Do NOT pick it up," you say to yourself. So you pick it up. And bury your face in it, inhaling every last cotton blend fiber. Ahhh...Man Scent. Before you know what's happening, you're speed dialing his cell phone. Or you stay strong, place the man scented t-shirt in a Ziploc bag, smelling it at 30 minute intervals...and call him in an hour. We've all done it. Face it ladies, Man Scent is like being sprayed by a skunk. It's blinding, takes forever to completely dissipate, and you never forget it.

The world is full of good smells: Your mother's perfume, the smell of brownies baking, Man Scent. And the world is full of bad smells. I can still remember exactly where I was the first time I smelled rotten school cafeteria milk. Or the smell of rancid grease...also in a school cafeteria. And how many of you (ladies) have an actual physical reaction to the words "Dutch Oven?" Exactly.

Which brings me to the Hug and Sniff. If you want to remember meeting someone for the rest of your life, forget autographs. Smelling them is the ONLY way to go. I'll post the steps for the perfect Hug and Sniff in the next 24 hours. Stay tuned. 

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Reader Comments (1)

You got me hooked... tell me more!

And please add some of that midnight cleaning, cowboy!

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