Sectors of the population that will forever remain a mystery to me:
1. People who say they don't like chocolate. And mean it.
2. Anyone who falls outside the category of "dog lover"
3. Men (usually of the tight-knit college variety) known to have entire conversations using nothing but movie lines
4. Anyone who can say no to food
5. The obnoxious couple who can spot and or/echolocate the two seats immediately behind you at any movie
6. Flight Attendants (I mean, at the first little noise, I would run through the cabin screaming "We're goin' down!!!)
7. Anyone who doesn't own a TV
8. The person who invented pantyhose and the population still wearing them
9. Any human being who will camp out on the sidewalk overnight for anything
And...
10. People who actually respond positively to having their photo taken
I really don't get it. It's the season for picture taking and camera giving, but every time I walk by the digital camera kiosk at Target, I can't help but think I would rather receive a year's membership to the Tube Sock of the Month club than a camera for Christmas.
I haven't owned a camera since I was 15. And I can't pinpoint the exact moment when I began to abhor photos, but it happened sometime between this happy photo:
...and this one:
The second photo was, in fact, taken when I was 15. Captured on an old Polaroid Instamatic camera...the kind that spit your photo out through a trap door on the front. Even though it's 20 years old and grainy, notice the look I'm flashing the photographer (that's me on the left). It says it all, don't you think?
Here's the thing. I don't like surprises. And it always seems like photo taking happens immediately after someone yells out your name and you turn around with your mouth open. Or they take the shot of you shoveling something into your pie hole. News flash: Nobody looks good when they're eating. Or you run across a photo and notice someone's back side in the background...only to realize it's yours.
Who are these mysterious people who like having their photo taken? Am I the only fat person who dives to the floor like I'm running with the bulls in Pamplona every time someone pulls out a Nikon?
Any worst-photo-ever stories out there? Anyone running the bulls with me?
Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 09:30PM
Reader Comments (4)
My friend and I went to Hearst Castle a couple of years ago. You park down below and then you wait for a bus to take you up to the main house. When you go to the waiting area you are immediately accosted by the 'house' photographer who demands to take your picture but you're under no obligation purchase. I told her (the photographer who was no older than 18) I was in the federal witness protection program and that if she took my photo I would be killed by those looking for me. So if she valued her life in any way, she would take the camera out of my face and never take my photo -- with all the 'mafia family' implication that those who were looking for me would have no problem of making her disappear without a trace. My friend couldn't look at me she was laughing so hard. But I got my point across and no picture of me hangs at Hearst Castle!
Cooper, you are THE BEST! Thanks so much for posting this. And now I know who I can go with on any and all sightseeing trips. ;)
Anytime! I love CA day trips.
I don't mind having my picture taken and will willingly pose for photos. I like to have photo documentation of things, so I actually initiate photo taking! Here's the deal: I know I'm fat, and I don't always (or often) like the way I look in pictures. But guess what? That's how I look, and I have to live with it or change it. And until I change it, I want a photo of me and my husband in front of the Taj Mahal, damnit! But I respect your right not to be in he picture. Mostly. :)