Dear Southwest Airlines,
Would I risk death for you? If it means peanuts, bags fly free, and a flight attendant that can make me laugh out loud, then yes. Yes, I would.
Maybe I love you because you, too, were born and raised in Texas.
Maybe I love you because you are the only airline that offers 737 service to Lubbock International Airport. I don't know why you're the only one. We have Texas Tech University, the Buddy Holly Museum, and Prairie Dog Town. The prairie dogs alone warrant at least two major airlines. But the others only offer "shuttle service." Like American Eagle. I think it's cute they went with "Eagle." If you've ever traveled on an American Eagle, then you know it's really more like a fledgling sparrow you're praying makes it past the first five minutes out of its nest.
Maybe I love you for the free bags and peanuts. Honestly, you could charge me $500 for a flight as long as my bags fly free. You're the only one who seems to understand...people don't want to KNOW they are paying $25 a piece for their bags to sit below them in cargo. It's not rocket science. Just charge everyone $50 more and tell them their wartorn luggage flies free.
And the peanuts...don't even get me started on the peanuts. If you offered me a bag filled with 17 peanuts on the street, I'd throw them back at you. But put a 36,000 foot wedge between me and the ground and offer up two bags of honey roasted nuts and you're my new bestie. Plus, it gives me a chance to meet the one group of people possibly more high strung than I. People with peanut allergies. Don't worry...I'm not about to ingest right next to someone whose windpipe I might cause to close. But sometimes it's fun to crinkle my unopened peanut bag within earshot, just to see them freak out. Ahhh...makes me feel like home.
But nothing makes me love you more than your flight attendants. The guy on my flight home this weekend actually read the safety instructions entirely in hillbilly. With just a peppering of Bill Clinton and Ricky Bobby. He actually said "shake-and-bake." I.am.never.leaving.you.
So, would I risk being sucked out of a 5-foot hole in the fuselage at 36,000 feet? You bet. But I am going to keep my seatbelt fastened at all times now.
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