I don't know if it was the torrential rain in Pasadena, or my newfound exercise-induced endorphine levels, but I was in a great mood yesterday. It didn't even bother me when the SUV with a bumper sticker that said "Bite Me" cut me off. Normally I would have utilized the horn that Toyota gave me, but decided to let it slide. What does that saying mean anyway..."bite me?" It's obviously meant to be an insult. But do you have any idea how hard I bite? Ask the neighbor kid. She had a giant tire in her backyard and we used to roll each other around in it when we were kids. One day she made the mistake of putting her finger a little too close to my mouth while I was laughing...and rolling. Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets bitten. And hasn't everyone seen Cape Fear? Or Silence of the Lambs?!? Or Mike Tyson? Do you really want to invite people to clamp down on any part of your body?
Now I see why the first question out of Cesar Millan's mouth when he meets his misbehavin' dogs (and their owners) on The Dog Whisperer is "How often do you exercise your dog?" It definitely takes the edge off. In dogs AND humans. I have to admit...working out every single day is becoming more natural. I was skeptical, believe me. If only you could have heard my internal dialogue when I started the project. It went something like this:
"Self, you've got to work out today."
"We'll see. If I have time."
"Oh, you're gonna do it. And you're gonna like it, damn it!"
"You're not the boss of me so shut your pie hole."
"Get upstairs and work out right now!!!"
"Just wait. America's Funniest Videos is on. See that guy there? He's about to be attacked by his orange tabby."
"Do you really want to be fat the rest of your life?"
"Maybe...if it means mint chocolate chip ice cream."
"Ok...it's a commerical. Now go change into your workout clothes."
"I hate my workout clothes. And besides, this is my favorite Geiko commericial."
"Why don't you just record it?"
"It's better live."
"You'll feel better."
"You know what will really make me feel better? A clean house. If I wash the dishes and mop the floor and shred my junk mail and start the laundry, I'll be on fire to work out. On fire! You watch."
"Well get to it."
"After I watch this, I promise."
And that's how it goes. Or how it went, anyway. I'm not an expert by any means. But I think that with any new thing, it seems to take so much time and energy at the beginning. You think if you have to spend your life like this you'll go crazy. But after you do it every day, it starts to occupy space in your thought. And it stops taking such conscious effort.
Now, I'm upstairs everyday. And I gotta tell you...I'm breakin' it down in the exercise arena. I'm nailing the instructor cues, propelling myself in the air, and mastering even the most complicated moves. When Kathy Smith shouts from the TV, "Don't try this step yet. Just watch me," I'm like "Oh, I'm doin' it, Kathy! Bring it."
Will I ever feel so confident in my cooking abilities? I don't know. I saw a sign the other day that said "I kiss better than I cook." That's me. The girl who loves to kiss and hates to cook.