Today is my birthday. Yay!!! I'm going to see if I can get one person to call me Madam Cupcake...maybe it will catch on.
This is a photo of my 5th birthday...celebrated on Maxwell Drive in Midland, Texas. OK...here is the thing that sucks about birthdays. It's not the age thing. So NOT. I just wish birthdays at 36 and 56 and 86 were as fun as the birthdays we had at six. Why aren't they? Why don't we get one day to celebrate ourselves? Where are the cupcakes and balloons and presents wrapped in bright colors? The pink princess bike with fuschia streamers? And surprises...What happened to those? The last time anyone surprised me was 1980. And you can't really surprise yourself. Or throw your own b-day party. It just sends the wrong message.
But here is the best gift so far. Yesterday, on Jeff Lewis' Facebook page, I was listed as his #1 fan. For those of you who have not been watching Flipping Out on Bravo, this is the best season by far. And here is the icing on my Jeff Lewis cupcake. It turns out we have the same wicked, inappropriate sense of humor. Last night on the season finale, Jeff had his general contractor (a guy who looks a lot like Vanilla Ice...I see a karaoke machine and Ice Ice Baby in the near future) leave a round of spider bombs in a home he was remodeling for Sarah, a very beautiful, poised and zen homeowner. But here's the problem. No one told Sarah about the spider bombs. So she and her son came home...unaware of the fate that awaited them, and proceeded to do the things they would normally do on a Monday afternoon. Until the previously undetected spider bombs sent them both running outside to simultaneously and spontaneously throw up on their newly manicured lawn.
When Jeff heard about the gastrointestinal demise of his client, he tried to keep his professional demeanor. And it lasted for...hmmm...15 seconds. Until he broke down in a fit of laughter. Every time he thought about it. Everyone around him had the look of genuine concern on their faces. And the best part was the look of shock and disapproval that filled the room every time he got going again. He couldn't even get the sentence out on camera. I was rolling on the floor. I never loved him more.
Let me introduce myself. Hi, my name is Elizabeth Jones. I laugh at the most inappropriate times. At knock knock jokes...no. But if someone gets knocked out...yes. It's a fine line, really. If someone is bleeding, on fire, or just skateboarded down a rail and bounced their head off the concrete, I'm horrified. But when my cousin's hamster died, my ex-boyfriend went flying down the movie theatre aisle when his wheelchair parking brake gave out, or someone is unexpectedly mauled by a house cat or gets whapped in the face by an unforseen tree branch, I am on the ground, writhing in fits of laughter as everyone around me looks on in horror. And days later, I could be lying in bed, sound asleep. And the thought will cross my mind again. I'll sit bolt upright in bed and start all over.
So, thank you, Jeff Lewis, for giving me the best and most inappropriate birthday gift ever! I heart you!!