How many people are running around in the white onezie, anyway?!? Did anyone watch Giuliana & Bill on The Style Network Wednesday night? Then you got a glimpse of the white onezie I ranted about a few posts ago. Guiliana Rancic tricked her gay assistant/second husband into joining her for what he thought was a trip to a Club Med spa but turned out to be a tortuous weekend of fasting, fat flogging and colonics at a place ironically called the We Care Spa. Matthew, perhaps the most hammy but endearing gay to hit the airwaves since Queer Eye, innocently found himself having to don the white onezie for an endermology session. He did, as his female abductor pointed out, look a little like a gay superhero. And I realized in that moment that that's what was missing from my own endermology "incident"...my gays. This is just my opinion, but I think every girl needs a gay man in her life. I am fortunate enough to have five in mine. And I'm telling you, the next time I bare my white-onezie-encased self to be pinched, rolled and sucked into endermic perfection, I'm taking Jesus with me (Beloved Gay, not Beloved Master...although I'll need him, too).
In unrelated news, I'm still hiding out in dark alleys and skulking around under cover of darkness until the brown hair color fades. I've decided it's not so much the hair color itself as much as it is my face with it. Maybe Halle Berry is the only human being who can bring people to their knees with her beauty no matter what her hair looks like. But for me, one bad haircut or color gone awry...and I'm Kathy Bates in Misery.
So I have two questions. First...what have YOU done in the name of beauty or weight loss? Whether it was a success or hilarious failure, what is the most ridiculous thing you've ever signed up for? And second, what's the worst hair disaster you've ever survived? Something that left you in tears and ready to join the Witness Protection Program.